Why should it be okay to tell someone that they are "too skinny" but all hell breaks loose when you fall someone fat? Why is there any difference?!
I am sick of people telling me that I don't need to lose weight or I need to eat more because their perception of me is that I'm "skinny". Whilst it is fine for them to have that opinion, it makes no difference to me when that's not how I feel. They wouldn't walk up to a bigger person and say "you don't need to eat that slice of cake!" but of course, no one sees it as a problem when it's the other way round. Skinny shaming, fat shaming, any kind of shaming is just a no-go! Keep your mouth shut! You don't know how much your words can affect someone who has an eating disorder - and FYI, you don't need to be skin and bones to have an eating disorder!! You can be any size or shape, it's a mental health issue. The little voices in your head will be there no matter what size you are. Summer can be the hardest time for this because of holidays and the image of a "beach body" - anyone can have a beach body, just take your body to the beach. All this bullshit about being a certain size or you need to cover up is just crap.
I have a love/hate relationship with food and this is such a big thing for me. I really do struggle with it. It's gotten to the point that I no longer eat out at restaurants or infront of people I don't know. This is down to me feeling hella self conscious and "fat" when I eat and the fact that people picked up on my smaller portions or not finishing my plate and I just don't want to put myself in that situation where I feel like I need to explain myself. I know I'm not fat as such, but I know I'm not skinny either. My state of mind regarding my body and health lately has been awful. I've gotten into the bad habit of all or nothing. I either binge eat and want to purge after or I eat nothing at all.
I can not explain how hard it is, and I'm sure some people will agree with me, that is can be SO difficult to sit down and tell yourself that you need to eat this plate of food to be healthy. That although that little voice is saying you don't need it and you're already the size of a beached whale, deep down you know you are being irrational and one plate of food won't make you gain 2 stone BUT once you get into that state of mind, nothing will tell you otherwise. If you don't feel comfortable eating infant of people then don't do it. If you're the person questioning why someone won't meet you for dinner then stop and tell yourself that this person isn't being an arsehole and not wanting to see you, but rather that restaurants can be the scariest of places. Being around people who are so comfortable with food and what they eat can be really hard. I know myself, that I feel most comfortable at home where if I'm eating, I can cook my own meal, of my desired size and I know exactly what im eating.
I feel like i've gone off on such a tangent and i'm now just rambling but I think you get the gist of what I'm trying to say. PLEASE just be mindful of what you are saying to not so obvious fragile people. By all means have your own opinion but maybe just keep it to yourself to not cause any issues. If you are struggling with an ED then please know that you are loved and no one wants to see you suffer, it' okay to ask for help. They can be incredibly hard to beat alone.
Stay safe. Stay strong.
You are beautiful.
Kisses,
nicole x
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