Im not usually one to make resolutions and stick to them. I used to think 'stop eating chocolate' was a good one for about 4 years - it never worked and I never stuck to it. Totally pointless. I wanted to try and make more realistic goals and targets and hopefully try and stick to them. It's not to prove myself to anyone, it is more to prove to myself that I can actually do something when I put my mind to it.
Lessons
The people you start the year with won't necessarily be the people you end the year with - This has been my biggest lesson. Its not always about how long you've known someone. You could have only known them 3 months and they could still be a better friend to you than someone you've known 7 years. Sadly, people don't stick around.
Don't rely on other people for your happiness - It will never end well. Find a way to make your own happiness. People are far too inconsistent and might do be there when you need some happiness in your life.
If you want to do something, just fucking do it - Life's too short to spend it worrying. If you want to treat yourself to that expensive top, you deserve it. If you want to go for a drive at 4am, grab them keys and go. Start living. I've spent far too long stresses over whether or not I should do something, its silly.
Health is far more important than you think - Im one of those people who never go to the doctors and just try to solve my problems with Google before i take it any further. I waited 5 months before I went to the doctors last year and it done nothing for my physical or mental health. No matter how silly you feel about going or how minor you're problem is (within reason) go and see your GP. You will feel so much more relaxed once you go get it checked out.
You don't have to worry all the time - Worrying 24/7 about stuff whether its past, present or future, it just isn't good for your mind. Step back, think and if its not an immediate issue then it isn't worth stressing over. Most of the time things work out okay.
People are arseholes - Whether they are strangers or friends, people will sometimes just never be happy for you. Jealously is an ugly trait. If you're happy then what else matters. There is no point giving them the satisfaction of letting it bother you.
Resolutions
Sleep better - My sleeping pattern has been totally out of whack for months now and it makes me feel so groggy and unmotivated.
Read more - Reading is one of the most relaxing and inspiring things that I love to do. I want to make more time to read and expand my vocabulary and reading selection.
Get back into horse riding - I have been riding since the age of 7. I done it most of my life but for the past year I just haven't done it which is a shame so I really want to get back into it. Preferably find a nice horse to share!
Study more - I do a distance learning course and it is very difficult to motivate myself without having someone there to push me. I want to make a schedule and stick to it.
Start saving - Im at that age where I have to start taking life that little bit more seriously. A little bit of saving here and there so I can start to make a little life of my own one day.
Stop worrying so much - Whats meant to be will be. Something I really need to get my head around.
nicole x
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