You'll know what I'm saying when i say that there was always that one girl in your year at school who was known as the "horse girl" and if you don't know who that was, then it was you. There are so many things that "normal people" just don't understand when it comes to horses. I can guarantee you that almost all of these things will have happened to you at some point in your equestrian life. You can laugh about them now but we all know they definitely weren't funny at the time!
1. Someone calls you ugly, pssht who cares! But someone calls your horse ugly...BITCH WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!
2. There is nothing cuter than going up the yard and seeing your horses face pop over the door to say hello.
3. You no longer shop for regular clothes - as long as your horse has that brand new rug that he just HAD to have, then you're happy with your ripped jeans and old jumpers.
4. You will find straw and hay absolutely everywhere - in your hair, in your room, in your car. Worst place...your socks. Take them bad boys off and you could give your horse a fresh bed with it.
5. Money is no object when your 4 legged friend needs a new pair of boots or a new rug. What does it matter? I mean living off beans and toast is alright.
6. You start to wonder whether your toes are made of steel. No matter how many times your horse has stood on your foot and refused to move, your little piggies never seem to sustain any real damage.
7. Falling off becomes '"the norm". You hit the ground more than the autumn leaves. You hit the deck, and back on you go. It's only serious if there is blood or bones on show.
8. You wonder why footballers are so dramatic when they get tapped on the leg by another player. You've come to an emergency stop, flipped over the head of your horse and body slammed the ground, yet they are the ones complaining?
9. Hoof picks have legs and will walk away from you if you don't keep an eye on them.
10. You've probably heard the saying "whats in the brain, goes down the rein" more times than you care to remember.
11. When someone asks if they can ride your horse, and you don't know how to politely tell them to fuck off.
12. Missing the stride to a jump and seeing your life flash before your eyes. Thank god the horse knows what it's doing.
13. Constantly checking the weather to see whether or not it is "safe" to turn your freshly groomed horse out.
14. There is nothing worse than bringing your horse in from the field and seeing that they've just lost one of their brand new shoes. Oh well, here goes the 2 hour search to find the bloody thing in a huge field. Easy.
15. Trying to keep warm in winter consist of 4 pairs of socks, welly warmers, gloves and a hot water bottle stuffed down your jacket yet you still feel like you're being froze to death.
16. Wrapping your fur baby up in 4 rugs and an extra big bed to make sure they don't get cold at night.
17. Owning a grey and not wanting to turn them out so they don't get stains before the show. Paranoid mum life.
18. Mud. Muddy gateways. Getting your wellies stuck in muddy gateways. AKA losing your welly when it comes to turning out in winter.
19. You have to become comfortable around mice. Your horse isn't the only thing living in that stable.
20. Filling up the water buckets nice and fresh before you go home and coming back 2 minutes later to find a nice surprise in there. Yep, your horse has shit in the bucket.
21. Getting head butted in the face when you try to give your horse a kiss. Rude.
22. Constantly smelling of "horse". It's a distinct smell. Mix of shit, hair, horse sweat, and dirt.
23. Turning into the hulk when you carry a bale of hay. You find inner strength you didn't know you had.
24. The feeling of burning hell in your thighs when you get told to do no stirrups, but you know in the back of your head that this is only the beginning, you'll be dying in the morning.
25. When your horse thinks its cool to lean every single ounce of weight on you when you're picking out their hooves.
26. When your horse is "fresh" and you just have to sit tight and hold the reins. Burn the energy out of that fucker before he dumps you.
27. Your car will permanently smell like horse. It will never go away.
28. Trying to hoof pick a horse who doesn't understand the concept of picking up their feet. The stress.
29. When people ask to borrow your brushes, you know thats the last time you will ever see it. Farewell, little blue brush, enjoy your new home.
30. Flipping the girth over the saddle as you take it off and smacking yourself in the face. Buckles to the nose, brilliant. That's gonna bruise.
31. Getting someone to help you carry your water bucket back to your stable and only managing a few steps before half of the contents is now down the side of your leg and filling up your boot.
32. Falling off so many times in one lesson but you don't want the horse to win, so you just collect more bruises by the minute and keep on trying. This horse is not going to win.
Nicole x
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